The Other
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: HP6 the film, what if it was Draco who found Hermione crying on the stairs instead of Harry? Dramione!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Dramione! I blame youtube's TamsinUK - it's all her fault! :P R&R

The Other:

Tears ran down my face as the charmed birds flew around me. I knew it was stupid , I also knew I didn't have the right to be upset. Ron was free to date whoever he wanted, even if the _whoever _was clingy and pathetic. It was his life and it was nothing to do with me. I sighed, wishing I could stop being so ridiculous.

I saw a shadow coming down the stairs and wiped away my tears. I half-expected to see Harry but was shocked to actually see Draco Malfoy. The last person I needed. Once he reached me, he stopped and looked at me. 'What's wrong with you? Did you get 9 out of 10 in a test?'

Seeing he didn't look completely himself I glared at him and said 'What's wrong with you? Daddy in trouble?'

I had expected some snide remark back but Draco simply broke eye contact; finding the floor very interesting. I looked at him properly and noticed tears in his eyes. I stood up 'Draco? What's wrong?'

He looked back up at me, staring me straight in the eye, no longer caring about the tears. 'What do you care, Granger? You, Weasley and Potter couldn't care less'

'I do care, Draco' I insisted and as I said it I realised just how much I meant it. I hated seeing Draco like this despite how he had always treated me. Despite how he acted my heart went out to him. I had always assumed it was so simple for him, I had never thought that his arrogance could be a cover.

'No, you don't. You have it so easy, the perfect grade. The famous Harry Potter for your best friend and you even get to escape this world when you got to your muggle parents'

'You think it's easy for me, Draco? You really think it's easy?' I asked. 'Then I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't have a clue about the other'

Draco's expression softly slightly and he sat down on the stairs. Once I had sat down next to him, he asked what I meant.

'Pretty much every year since I've been here my life has been put in danger. Going home isn't an escape, it's like being trapped. In the muggle world no one understands all this, I can barely talk about it. Sure Mum and Dad try to listen but they can't understand it' I explained. 'I have great grades because it matters to me. I have to work just as hard as everyone else. Harder, because I want to be someone that will be accepted in this world because of who I am, not automatically dismissed because I'm muggle born. I never asked for that but I'm not ashamed of it. I never will be. I don't care what you or anyone else--'

'Hermione, stop' Draco using my first name shocked me into stopping. 'I don't want to be my father's son. I've had enough of following in his footsteps, I've had enough of believing everything he believes. I'm not him' he was looking at me seriously. 'but I'm scared' he added 'You tell anyone this and I'll make your life here hell' before pausing and sighing 'I'm sorry. I'm not used to being this honest'

'I'm not going to tell anyone anything you say' I promised.

Draco must've known I mean it because he continued. 'I'm so sorry, scared of not being good enough. Scared of being on the wrong side. Nothing can stop him…' he trailed off, and after a moment smiled slightly 'Scared of admitting the truth. With everything else going on it should be the last thing on my mind and yet… Hermione, it's like you understand'

Understanding was the last thing I felt like I could do then. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. 'Understand what?' I asked.

'Expectations' he replied 'and you know what it's like falling for someone who notices you for all the wrong reasons'

'How--?' I was too shocked to actually ask the question.

'You and Weasley? It's obvious to everyone but him. I'm slightly better at hiding it. If I act like I hate her, no one'll ever know how I really feel'

'Who--?' My question was cut off by Draco's lips touching mine. After the initial shock, I threw away all sensibility and returned the kiss. It felt so natural.

Eventually, slowly me and Draco moved away from each other. 'What--?' I was too speechless to ask anything.

Draco knew what I meant 'That was the truth' he whispered and smiled. He has such sweet smile, I couldn't not smile back. Hearing footsteps before I did, Draco jumped up 'This never happened' he hissed, back to his usual self, and walked away just as Ron and his new girlfriend came into view.

Ron looked at me 'What were you talking to Malfoy for?'

'What's it to you?' I asked and ran up the stairs - in the opposite direction to Draco - feeling very confused.

**a/n: One-shot or shall I write more?**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2:_

Draco's POV:

I ran a sink full of water and splashed it over my face. What the hell had I just done? Of all the stupid things I could do right now, kissing Hermione bloody Granger was probably the worst of them and yet I couldn't bring myself to regret it. I couldn't tell myself I had done the wrong stupif thing, yes, but not the wrong thing. I didn't need the added complication but it still felt so right.I hadn't the fact that I know nothing could come of this. Me and Hermione were exact opposites. Slytherin and Gryfindor. Bad and good. Right and wrong. We were on the opposite side of the looming fight. I couldn't be with someone like her. I couldn't be as honest as I had been tonight all the time and yet part of me wanted of me wanted to give up on the act and just be myself but I was too scared to. I wasthe tough, mean Slytherin boy who hid behind the power of his father, that's who I had to be. And I couldn't let that change. I couldn't let people see the scared boy who hated his father. I couldn'tlet the world know how I felt. And it didn't matter anyway, if Hermione knew the truth she'd never want anything to do with me. If she knew what I had to do she'd hate me.

Or maybe she could help me?

No, I couldn't think like that. She couldn't help me. No one could.

I looked into the mirror and scutinized the image shown in it. I looked pathetic. My face was slightly red from the water splashed on it and from the desperate tears I'd been forcing back. No one could help me because nothing could stop what was going to happen. No one could do anything. I had to do this, no matter how much I hated it. I knew it was the right thing to do, to ignore what happened tonight and go on as normal, but the bigger part of me didn't want to. The bigger part of me wanted to see Hermione again. I trusted her. I barely even knew her, but I knew I could trust her. I knew, when she said she wouldn't tell anyone that that meant no exception. I knew anything I said to her would stay between us. Anything but _that. _I couldn't tell her. I couldn't speak to her again, unless it was like before. I had to go on like normal. I had to... but I didn't want to.

__

Hermione POV:

I went straight back to the Gryfindor tower, and got into bed. Sleep was the last thing on my mind though. I tried to make sense of what happened, but it all seemed a mess. It seemed like one minute I'd been upset about Ron, and the next minute I'd been kissing Draco. It didn't make any sense, and part of me was sure it wasn't real. Draco Malfoy hated me, there's no way he'd kiss me. But I could still feel it, I knew it was real. I knew it had happened. He had been so different, so gentle, so loving, so scared, and yet only moments later he had gone back to the way he'd always been. He told me he didn't want to be his father, then told me this never happened. He told me that was the truth, then walked away. I couldn't get my head around it. Was that how he truly felt or was how he usually acted the truth? Had he been acted for so long that being honest had scared him, or had it been a moment of weakness that he insteadly regretted?

'What's up?' Ginny asked coming into the room and sitting on her bed.

'Nothing' I replied, not even bothering to sit up from my laid position.

'Is it my brother?' asked Ginny.

I could've laughed but it wasn't funny. It had been Ron. I thought it was confusing when I was upset about Ron, but it seemed that then I didn't even know the meaning of the word confusion.

'Nothing's wrong, Ginny' I repeated.

How did I feel? Did it even matter, after all Draco wanted to pretend it never happened. But it mattered to me. I was so unsure about how I felt. I was sure I loved Ron, even though I wouldn't have admitted it, but now I was so unsure. I returned Draco's kiss, it had felt so natural.

Was I falling for someone I thought I hated?

* * *

_A/N: When I said 'Should I write more' I didn't expect 13 reviews all asking for more, you know. lol. Please ignore my rubbish spelling, I'm writing this on word-pad! Also sorry it's short! R&R!_


	3. Chapter 3

-1**A/N: I'm so sorry it's been so long!**

Chapter 3:

_Hermione POV_

'Hermione are you all right?' Harry asked me the next morning at breakfast. 'You seem a bit distant'

I looked at him and smiled fakely. 'I'm fine' I lied. I had spent hours trying to get to sleep and the sleep hadn't cleared my mind at all. I turned to look at the Slytherin table. Draco was looking at the Gryffindor table and looked away when he saw me looking. Or did I imagine that. I turned back to my table.

'Is it because of Ron?' asked Harry.

I glared at him. 'Why does everyone seem to think I have a problem with Ron? I couldn't care less who he dates. I've got other things going on' I stood up and walked out of the Great Hall. I knew exactly why everyone thought I was distant because of Ron, after all it was 'obvious to everyone but him' but it wasn't Ron stuck on my mind now. It was Draco. People say actions speak louder than words but his actions last night had left me completely confused. I wished I could forget about him, but I couldn't. I couldn't get how scared he'd looked the night before out of my head. I headed for the library and tried reading to take my mind off him. It didn't work, and before long I left the library again. Draco and his friends were just passing as I left the library.

'Hi Draco' I had spoken before I had thought.

Draco glared at me. It hurt to have him looking at me like that. I realised then how I felt, I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to be with him. 'How are you?'

'I'm fine, Granger, why wouldn't I be?' he replied, and his friends sniggered as they walked away.

'I think the mud blood has a crush on you, Draco' one of his friends laughed.

It was a slight comfort knowing Draco didn't say anything bad about me, but at the same time it hurt that he didn't defend me. I would've defended him, wouldn't I? I wasn't so sure. I was about to turn and walk back to the Gryffindor tower when Draco turned back.

'Sorry' he mouthed.

I smiled, comforted more that he'd turned back. Surely that showed last night meant something didn't it? I sighed, it was clear that whether Draco liked me or not, he wasn't going to be civil in front of anyone else. Deep down I knew I shouldn't try and chase someone who didn't want to be seen with me, but in my heart I couldn't let what happened the night before go unexplained. I needed to try and get Draco alone, somehow.

_Draco's POV_

Why did she do that? Why did I do that? I had been such a coward. Did she realise that I didn't say anything about her? Did she realise that I couldn't stop thinking about her? Ugh, this was getting ridiculous, I sounded like a love sick teenager. Maybe I sounded like that because that's what I was, but that wasn't the point, it's wrong. I can't turn my back on everything I've been the whole time I've been here. Why did she have to speak to me? Why didn't she listen to me when I said 'this didn't happen'? Doesn't she know I'm too much of a coward to change? I'm too used to everything how it is, and I can't change that.

Even though part of me wants her. Part of me wants to go against everything and not care what anyone things and just get with her, but the part of me that couldn't do that was stronger.

'Can you _believe _her?' Patsy said, complete disbelief in her voice.

_Well yes, actually, Patsy I can. In fact it's not really surprising considering last night I had my heart on my sleeve and told her this was the truth before I kissed her. _I had the sense not to actually say that. I didn't say anything. I didn't trust myself to speak, I knew if I did I would either say something against Hermione, or I would start defending her, both of which at this point I didn't want to do, and there was no middle point. There was no way I could say something that appeared neutral.

'I mean what gives a mud blood like _her _the right to try and have a normal discussion with you' Patsy was too busy ranting about it, to actually notice I wasn't saying anything. 'I mean you'd think after six years she'd have learnt that she's…'

I stopped listening. I hated the way she sounded so disgusted, but what I hated more was that for years I had acted exactly like that. I had treated Hermione like dirt, just like Patsy was now talking about her like she was dirt. And then I went and got feelings for her. I didn't even know when I stopped hating Hermione and started liking her. It was all so complicated. _Girls _are so complicated.

_Hermione POV_

'Miss Granger? Are you with us?'

_No sir, I'm not, I'm back in last night when the guy I thought was my enemy kissed me. _I was barely even aware of what lesson I was in, and I had no idea what I had just been asked. This was stupid; I was acting so out of character for myself. Even when I liked Ron I had still been ale to concentrate on lessons. If anything when I liked Ron I threw myself into my work even more to stop thinking about him. Apparently that wasn't going to work with Draco.

The teacher repeated the question and I resisted the urge to stare at him blankly. 'I don't know, sir' I answered.

A gasp ran through the whole class, even Harry stared at me in shock. I sighed and only just stopped myself from rolling my eyes. I didn't know everything, even though it probably appeared like I did some of the time. I had to be honest, the chances were I did know the answer to what I had just been asked, but I couldn't think about it. I looked around the class, an annoyed glare on my face and everyone stopped staring at me, as someone else answered the question.

I made a mental note that I was going to find Draco as soon as this lesson was over and speak to him, even if I had to drag him away from his friends. As soon as I thought that, though, I knew I wouldn't drag him away from his friends, I had made enough of a spectacle of myself today.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

Hermione POV:

'We need to talk' I stopped Draco outside the Great Hall when he was on his own. I had learnt my lesson from the last time so I wasn't going to talk to him when he was with anyone else. Now that I was in front of him and saying that I didn't even know what I was going to say if he agreed to talk. If I was honest I didn't even know why I was there. All I really wanted was for this to have never happened and to forget Draco, but I knew forgetting Draco wasn't an option. I also knew that I was there because the bigger part of me wanted to be.

'Where?' Draco asked.

I sighed inwardly. I had told myself I had learnt my lesson but it didn't stop it hurting when he made it clear he didn't want to be seen with me. Still at least he agreed to talk, so I could find out where I stood. I could sort out what was going on. 'Staircase' I replied 'in half an hour'

Draco nodded and walked on into the Great Hall.

HP

I wasn't sure why but while I was waiting for Draco n the staircase I charmed three yellow birds and had them flying around. Being on the staircase left me feeling even more confused. It was here it had all started. It probably hadn't been such a good idea but it had been the only place I could think of where no one else would be likely to see us. I thought back a few nights to when it all started, when Draco kissed me and said that was the truth. Then the next day he all but blanked me before turning back and saying 'sorry'.

I stood up and faced him when I saw him coming. I waited until he was close enough for me to speak at a normal volume and was suddenly very angry. 'What the hell is going on with you, Draco?' I asked.

Draco blinked and looked as though he was going to step back. He didn't though; he didn't answer either so I continued:

'Less than a week ago you were nothing more than an arrogant, annoying, Slytherin git in my eyes' Draco looked slightly hurt but not surprised 'and I was just a filthy little mudblood in yours' he flinched, actually physically flinched 'so what changed? Because you clearly don't actually like me but you're being nice. You're Draco Malfoy you're not nice. I mean I get that it's probably just some mind game or something but it's working because I can't…'

'HERMIONE!' Draco had to shout to stop my rant.

'What?' I asked.

'Do you want me to answer or do you want to continue having a go at me?' he asked.

'Actually I want to continue' I replied. 'I can't get you…'

'Tough' Draco interrupted. He sat down, took my hand and attempted to pull me down as well 'sit' he said. I did so. 'Look, it's not a mind game, at least I never meant for it to be. I do like you, Hermione; goodness knows I can't stop thinking about you'

'Tell me about it' I said before I thought. 'Because of you I said "I don't know" in a lesson yesterday' my anger faded and I couldn't see having Draco stuck in my head as a bad thing. What's that clichéd saying? _Maybe if someone is stuck in your head it's because they're supposed to be there? _Maybe that was the case.

'You didn't know an answer? Has the world stopped turning?' asked Draco in shock.

'Shut up' I moaned 'I don't know everything, you know?'

'Really? And there I was sure you did'

'I don't now what's going on with you' I replied. 'You still haven't answered that'

'That is because you keep interrupting me' said Draco. He took deep breath and started again 'I do like you, Hermione; I've liked you for a while. I'm not sure exactly when I started to like you but it's been a while. And Hermione, you weren't just a filthy little mudblood to me a week ago and you have to believe me when I say I am so sorry I ever called you that' I did believe him, but I didn't interrupt. 'I don't know what to do' He paused, as if unsure what to say or how to say it. He looked straight ahead rather than at me as he continued 'I'm scared. My father… my father would never allow it; he'd probably disown me or something like that. But that shouldn't matter' He laughed bitterly without humour 'looking at the bigger picture it doesn't matter, not at all' I wanted to say something but I was worried that if I interrupted Draco wouldn't be able to continue. It was clear all of this was hard for him to say. He turned to me again and the fear was clear in his face. It was an overwhelming fear. 'You don't understand'

I knew that, he wasn't that scared of his father's reaction, this was clearly bigger than us. I knew it was safe to talk now. 'What don't I understand?' I asked. 'I can try to if you tell me'

'I can't tell you' Draco said 'Hermione nothing can ever happen between us, we're on opposite sides ore than you can possibly understand. By the end of this school year you'll hate my guts more than you ever did before'

'Why' I pressed 'Why do you think I will hate you?'

'I don't think it, I know it' Draco replied. He kissed my gently, before looking me in he eyes 'don't forget that I think you're amazing, Hermione Granger, truly amazing' as he stood up, I noticed a tear run down his cheek. He turned to walk away and under his breath he added 'but neither of us are amazing enough to change this' before running up the stairs.

'Draco' I called after him. 'I won't let this go'

He stopped momentarily before continuing out of sight.

**A/N: Please Review**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:  
Draco POV:**

I should've guessed she's be the stubborn type. I should've guessed she wouldn't just accept it. How could I expect her to just accept it, she was a girl. Girls has a habit of being good at finding out what they wanted to know. And Hermione wasn't just a girl, she was an incredibly smart Gryffindor girl. She was smart and brave, she just didn't realise how fine the line between smart/brave and just plain stupid was. I needed to find a way to get her to leave this alone. It would hurt her too much to know, it would hurt me too much for her to know. I couldn't bare for her to hate me… Yet. She would by the end of the year, that was inevitable.

This thing that se couldn't know about, it's the hardest thing I've ever been asked to do. Just the thought of it terrified me. It was on my mind constantly and yet the majority of the time I just thought of 'it' I didn't actually think about what it was. As if thinking the exact words could make it worse. More real. As if thinking 'I have to kill Dumbledore' would change anything about it. I've hurt people before, I'd never deny that. I've used the power my father had for entirely the wrong reasons, to destroy people. I've acted all high and mighty, like I'm better than everyone else. But I've never killed anyone before. I've never gone that far, I've never even done any permanent damage before. To take someone's life…

It shouldn't be that hard. I mean I know the dark arts well and everyone knows the words to the killing curse. It's just two simple words. A pointed wand and two simple words.

And I'd lose her forever. It was selfish beyond all reason that y mind was on Hermione. And yet the fact that I'd lose her was one of the things that was making this hardest. She wasn't even id to lose. It also felt like it was connected; the fact that this was appearing to be so hard and my feelings for Hermione. In this fight Hermione would always be on the side of good and I'd be on the side of bad. But that that wasn't certain, maybe it wasn't set in stone. Maybe Hermione could save me. Get me out of this, get me on the right side.

I shook my head viciously, I was lying on my bed in the dormitory an that was crazy thinking. Hermione was amazing but she was just one girl. There was no way she could get me out of this. The Dark Lord had ordered it, I'd have to do it. I had no choice in that matter. I'd have to just get around Hermione somehow and just forget her. My feelings didn't matter. I had been given and order, I couldn't go against it. No matter what. This was the most important thing.

HP

I saw Hermione in the great hall, predictable with Potter and Weasley. Ignoring everyone else I went straight up to her.

'What do you want, Malfoy?' Weasley asked.

I didn't answer him, I just turned my attention to Hermione straight away. She was looking at me in obvious shock. She looked like she was going to say something, but I got there first. 'Listen Granger' I said, and didn't even pause to make sure she was listening. I didn't need to pause, I knew she was listening as was the majority of the Gryffindor and the majority of the Slytherin at table. 'You've got to get over this stupid little crush you have on me' I spoke in an extremely patronising voice and made sure I met her eyes the whole time. It was impossible to miss the hurt in them, but she was strong, she wasn't about to break down when half was school was watching. I never gave her a chance to say anything, continuing quickly. 'You and me is never going to happen. Don't follow me. Don't try and arrange to meet. Don't even talk to me. Have you got that? I don't like you and I never will' Every word of what I was saying was a lie, but I couldn't regret it, I had to do this. It was the only way.

'I've got it, Draco' I couldn't understand why she used my first name. She never had before… before everything that happened. Her voice rang out bitterness. 'I've got that you're a sly, low, backstabbing idiot who isn't worth my time of day. I've got that you're pathetic and childish. I've got that you need to grow up and stop messing people about. I've got that people like you never change. I haven't missed anything have I?'

After she had spoke she stood up and started to walk out the hall only to turn back. 'Oh and I don't have a crush on you. I have much better taste and more class.' she said before continuing out. I don't think she meant for me to see the tears threatening their way from her eyes, but I did.

I sighed unnoticeably and walked over to the Slytherin table. I was greeted by people saying things like 'Good on you, Draco' and 'You sure put that mud blood in her place'. I found myself wanted to defend her, but I made sure I kept quiet. I had said she needed to get over this stupid crush, but she wasn't the one crushing. I needed to keep my mind focused on task that was coming up. I had to just forget about her. It should be easy. She was just girl. Just a girl who was on the wrong side, so was my enemy. That was how it was, I just had to try and remember that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:  
Hermione POV:**

Once I was out of the Great Hall I wasn't sure where to go. Girls toilets were a bit predictable but the dormitory was a bit too public. In the end I just ended up walking around the grounds. I expected to cry, I was almost sure I was going to cry, I had almost been in tears when Draco had been talking. However, no tears came when I was walking around. I knew I should be angry too, he had completely humiliated me in there. He had made me look like a stupid little kid. But again I wasn't. I was just shocked.

It seemed to confirm my fear that he was only using me. The question was why? What was the point of it? He didn't get anything out of me, just me actually caring about him. There was nothing fake when I was talking to him, and yet he was now making it seem like everything he said was fake. But _he _kissed _me _not the other way around. It didn't make sense. And he really did seem so scared when we were talking. Surely he wasn't that good an actor was he? And why would he kiss me if he doesn't like me and never will?

I wondered whether what he said in the Great Hall was just a ploy to get me to try and leave it. He didn't want me trying to find out what he was so scared about, so this could be him trying to make me stop trying. I mean one minute I was telling him I wouldn't let it go and the next he was telling me to not even speak to him. It made sense. Well not exactly _sense _more it seemed like the sort of think Draco would do.

Even if he didn't mean what he said, what I said was still true. The majority of it at least. He could be sly, low, and backstabbing. If what he said wasn't true then he was being pathetic and childish. And he definitely needed to grow up and stop messing people about. How could anyone help him or even be there for him if he acted like this? Maybe that was exactly it, maybe he didn't want help? But the why talk to me in the first place? None of this made any sense. I felt so stupid for ever daring to care about _Draco Malfoy, _I should've known it would be nothing but trouble. People think I know everything, they don't realise how much there is that I don't have the first clue about.

'Hermione?' I jumped at the sound of my name. I looked to the side and saw Harry walking beside me. 'Are you… ok?' he asked and I had a feeling that wasn't the question he really wanted to ask.

'I'm fine' I replied not too quickly, but not with a too long pause.

Harry stayed quiet for a moment, then stepped in front of me to stop me walking. I didn't bother trying to step around him, I just waited for him to say what he wanted to say. 'Hermione, what's going on?'

'Nothing's going on' I answered. Major lie which would so obviously be seen right through, but it was the only think I could say.

'Why does he think you have a crush on him, then?' Harry asked. I didn't answer straight away and Harry asked another question 'Do you have a crush on him?'

'No!' I insisted, too quickly, too defensively. I sighed and spoke calmer 'I don't have a crush on Draco Malfoy, I mean its _Malfoy. _As I said when I walked out of the Hall, I have better taste and more class'

'I thought you liked Ron?' Harry said.

I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a question or a statement, but I answered anyway. 'Past tense, Harry' I said simply. That bit at least was true, I hadn't thought about Ron like that at all since everything had happened with Draco.

'What happened with Malfoy?' Harry asked.

'Just leave it' I said.

'People are going to be making up all sorts of rumours about it, it would be good to know the truth about it' Harry said.

'It's nothing, it doesn't even matter' I said. 'He's just an idiot'

'That's putting it lightly' Harry said. 'So what was up in class the other day?'

'What?' I asked.

'"I don't know"?' Harry reminded me.

'Oh that' I said, rolling my eyes. Was it really that big a deal? 'I just wasn't concentrating, I didn't even hear what he was asking'

'Hermione Granger not concentrating in class?' Harry said, half mocking shock, half seriously shocked 'Something is seriously wrong there'

'Nothing is wrong, Harry' I said in a tone which would hopefully tell him to stop asking question. 'Everyone has days when other things are on their mind'

'I've never known you have one before' Harry said. I glared at him. 'Ok' he shrugged 'I'll shut up'

'Good' I said. I continued walking and Harry walked with me. Silently.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

Hermione POV:  
The second I found myself at Professor Slughorn's Christmas party with Cormac I knew I was being stupid. I thought it was the sensible thing to do, it all made sense in theory. Theory of course, is completely different to being in practise, because a Christmas party was supposed to be an enjoyable time and here I was hiding from him. Most definitely not enjoying myself. Even Harry who wasn't here with the person he wanted to be here with was enjoying himself, at least he had be sensible enough to bring a friend. I wish I had been smart enough to realise that Cormac was an idiot.

I thought it would be a good thing to do, come with someone who seemed to like me. I thought it would be a good idea to stop chasing after people who obviously didn't care. I did it with Ron and he didn't even notice, and then I did it with Draco and he humiliated me. Yet I still found myself thinking about him, wondering what his major problem was. Why I would end up hated him. I still found myself wanted to help him in any way I could. It was complete madness. My head said stay away, my heart said follow.

'Looky who I found' when I heard Filch's voice, and letting curiosity get the better of me I looked out to the party and saw him stood there holding Draco by the back of his shirt. What was Draco doing here? 'Claims he was... invited' Filch continued.

'All right' Draco admitted, struggling out of Filch's grip 'I was gate crashing'

Professor Slughorn stepped forward, obviously about to say something, but Professor Snape got there first. 'I'll deal with this' Snape said.

I thought about it, and Snape seemed to be around Malfoy a hell of a lot this year. I always knew Malfoy was a favourite of Snape's but it seemed to be more than that. It seemed to be whatever Malfoy's problem was Snape was in on it. Was he causing it or helping solve it? It was impossible to know, but it felt as thought this wasn't all cut and dry. When me and Draco had met to talk after he kissed me I knew it was bigger than us, but I didn't know the gravity of it, and I still didn't, but now it seemed even bigger. I just wished I could understand what was going on. I wished I knew what it was all about.

I watched as Snape took Malfoy out of the party. Without being too obvious I made excuses to leave a few moments later and keeping a good distance I followed them. I didn't agree with eavesdropping but I had to know what was going on. And anyway I was friends with Harry Potter, I was an expert at sneaking around. I made sure I kept out of sight and completely silent, but I'm sure I missed the beginning of what they were saying.

'Maybe I did hex that Bell girl, maybe I didn't. What's it to you?' Draco practically hissed the words. It was the tone of voice of the Draco Malfoy who had hated me for the passed 6 years, and yet hearing it now yet wrong. It was as though now I had seen a different side of Draco, hearing the usual side didn't seem right. His voice was so sharp it almost scared me. Then I thought about the words he was actually saying: _maybe I did, maybe I didn't. _It wasn't quite a confession but it was pretty close to one. It seemed like Harry was right - Draco did hex Katie. The question was _why_?

'I swore to protect you' Snape replied. I couldn't actually see them, only hear, but it sounded like Snape pushed Malfoy against the wall. 'I made the Unbreakable Vow'

I didn't know what I was expecting to hear from this conversation but that most certainly wasn't it. What could be happening that would be so bad that Snape would have to make an Unbreakable Vow to protect Draco for?

'I don't need protection' Draco said with extreme stubbornness. 'I was chosen for this.' As soon as he said _chosen _fear filled me. Was the reason this was so big because Draco was chosen by… Voldemort? To do what though? 'Out of all others. Me. And I won't fail him'

By not naming _him _and through the knowledge that Lucius Malfoy is a Death Eater it seemed to make sense that that was who they were talking about.

'You're afraid, Draco' Snape continued. I could see that as well, I don't think many people could. I don't think many people would be looking for it, but there was definitely a lot of fear in Draco because of whatever he was chosen for. 'You attempt to conceal it but it's obvious. Let me assist you'

Assist him how? Help him carry out the task or do the task instead of him? And what was the task.

'No' Draco practically shouted that. 'I was chosen' why was he saying that as if he was proud of it. I couldn't see his face so I couldn't tell if he truly was proud of it or whether he was just trying to sound it 'This is my moment'

His moment for what? I had to find out. I had to help…

No… how could I help? This was as well away from being about us as possible. If this involved Voldemort then what could I do to help? What could I - just one witch - do against the darkest force in the world? The answer was nothing.

* * *

**A/N: I know I said to one of you that this chapter would be Draco's POV, I did plan to write a Draco chapter, but this one was necessary after re-watching the film. Next chapter will defo be Draco's POV, because I know exactly what's going to happen in it. R&R please. ly'all Carly.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:  
Draco:**

Practically as soon as Snape had left me Hermione appeared in front of me. I sighed, could this night get any worse? Actually, that probably wasn't the best thing to think, it could always get worse, even when it didn't seem possible for it to. I couldn't speak to her now yet she had this determined look on her face and I knew I wasn't going to get out of it.

'What was that all about?' she asked.

'It's none of your business' I replied. As I tried to step around her she stepped in my way. I could've made me move but I didn't see the point. I knew she'd just come back at another time. I also knew that that fact was my own stupid fault. 'What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?'

'Are you a Death Eater, Draco?' Hermione asked, ignoring the fact that I'd just asked _her _a question.

'Maybe I a, maybe I'm not' I replied, with a shrug like it didn't matter. I needed it not to matter. I needed everything I had just said to Snape to be true but needing it didn't make it the case. Still I had to make it the case. 'It's nothing to do with you'

'Snape's right' Hermione said. This time ignoring that I hadn't properly answered her question. Did that mean she knew the answer? I tried to relax, knowing that thinking like that was completely paranoid and was going to get me nowhere. 'It's so obvious you're scared'

'You know, it's a bit creepy you listen in ob my conversation. I think you're getting a bit obsessed with me' I said in the most patronising voice I could manage. 'It's not healthy, you need to get over it'

'Shut up, Draco' Hermione said, not wavering at all at my tone or what I was saying. 'We both know I haven't got an obsession with you. And we both know that one way or another you want my help. So how about you quit with all the games and just _tell _me what's going on'

'Because I can't' I replied before I thought about it. The second the words were out I knew there was no way I could go back to acting like I didn't care about anything or anyone. 'I can't tell you what's going on, and even if I could I wouldn't because you'd just go running back to Potter and Weasley and then go running to Dumbledore' when I said his name I felt sick, the thought of what I had to do filling me with a fear that I couldn't ignore. I tried to though and just continued on with what I was saying, 'And then I'd end up…' I stopped myself. I had been about to say _and then I'd end up in Azkaban and my family would be killed _but I couldn't say that. I couldn't go that far, if I went that far I'd want to go further, I'd want to tell her everything.

I always wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to be able to help me but she couldn't. I needed to except it. I had been asked to kill one of the greatest wizards of all time, I had to do it. I didn't have a choice. I had to do it, it could be Snape like he wanted, and no one else could get me out of it.

'You'd end up what, Draco?' Hermione asked. Her voice was softer than before, she wasn't annoyed now, she was worried. Damn it she was worried. I didn't want her to worry, I didn't know what I want, it was a mess in my mind. I wished I had never got her involved in all of this. It's not fair on her. Hell, it's not fair on me. 'What's going on?'

I didn't answer. I didn't have the first clue what I could say. I couldn't tell her the truth, but if I lied it'd be obvious. Her tone of voice told me she knew I wanted to talk but at the same time didn't. Her tone of voice also told me she wanted to help. That alone confused me. All this time Hermione was chasing me, trying to find out what was going on, trying to help when she so obviously couldn't, and yet I had tormented her for the passed 6 years. Why would she want to help me? Avoiding eye contact I looked at her, she was just that sort of person. When she cared about someone she was there always, no exception.

'Is it something to do with Voldemort?' Hermione asked. She kept her voice low, not even stumbling over the name. Even _I _couldn't say the name that easily. How could she not have a problem with it? Being so close to Potter she should know exactly how powerful the name was. Seeing my face she added 'I'm not afraid of the name, Draco. I'm smart enough to be scared of him, I'm completely and utterly terrified of him, but I'm no more scared of his _name _than I am of the name Draco Malfoy. The power's in the person, not in their name. We could call him Tom and he'd still be just as powerful, he'd still be just as terrifying.'

I didn't move at all. I wanted to say something but still I didn't have a clue what to say.

'It is, isn't it?' she asked.

She wasn't asking me because she thought maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. She was asking me because she was almost sure but it needed confirming. I didn't answer her question, I just repeated the question I had asked earlier. 'What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?'

Hermione sighed. 'Look me in the eyes and tell me, truthfully,' she paused as if wondering how to word this. 'Tell me that you truly don't care about anything or anyone, and that you want to be in league with Voldemort and that you don't want me to try and help you in any way I can.' She looked away from me 'and tell me the kiss that night meant nothing'

I cupped her face, forcing her to look at me again. I met her eyes. 'I don't care about anythi-' I dropped my hands from her face and dropped my gaze at the same time. I couldn't say any of that. No, that wasn't true, I knew I could say all of it, but I couldn't look her in the eyes and say it truthfully.

* * *

**Whenever I update this story I get a number of new 'favourite story' and 'story alert' emails, but only a few reviews (thank you to everyone who has reviewed) and while it's great that y'all fave-ing it, can y'all please review so I can see what you like and what you don't. ly'all Carly. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Hermione POV:**

'You want the truth, Hermione, then listen good because I'm never going to say this again and if you repeat any of it when I will bitterly deny it.' Draco said harshly. As he continued his voice quickly became softer. 'Yes, I'm scary, I'm absolutely terrified. Yes it is to do with Lord Voldemort but I can't tell you anymore than that. There's nothing you can do. I want you to help, I want there to be some way that you can get me out of this but you can't. If He finds out I'm trying to get out he'll kill me family and then probably me' Draco looked so desperate. 'Do you understand now?' he asked 'Why you can't do anything, why I can't even tell you?'

'Dumbledore will be able to protect you, Draco, and your family' I tried. The fear in Draco's eyes deepened at "Dumbledore". 'He's the only wizard that Volde-'

'No!' Draco shouted, then continued quieter. 'Lord Voldemort isn't afraid of Dumbledore. He isn't afraid of anyone. Dumbledore…' he paused 'Dumbledore isn't a problem for Lord Voldemort'

'What does that mean?' I asked.

'It means I've said too much already' Draco said an without warning he kissed me. I found myself kissing back quickly. The kiss meant more than the last time he kissed me, this time he wasn't holding anything back. This time he was being completely open and honest - as much as he could be at least. Draco pulled away first. 'Please just stay out of it'

I couldn't just leave it at that. 'I hate seeing you like this' I told him 'There must be something that can be done. There's always a loophole or _something'_

'There isn't' Draco replied, it was only when he wiped a tear off my cheek that I realised that I had been crying. 'I'll be ok, I promise, and so will you. It's not going to be easy' I wrapped my arms around him and he held me close 'We've got a war to fight, Hermione and it's only going to get worse. I want to be with you. Right now if it wasn't for everything else I would admit to the world how much I care about you. I don't care what anyone else things anymore. But we can't be together, we're on different sides in this' _Like Romeo and Juliet _I thought 'That decision was made for me a long time ago. I'm sorry.' He kissed me again. 'Don't try and get involved. Don't try and help. And don't wait for me when all of this is over, trust me you won't want me now'

I called after him as he started to walk away. 'You're not a bad person, Draco, remember that'. He didn't even turn around and to be honest I didn't expect him to. I didn't try to stop him, I just wanted until he was out of sight before turning and walking in the opposite direction towards the Gryffindor tower.

Ginny asked me where I had been and I just muttered something about going for a walk, then claimed to be tired, go changed and climbed into bed. I was tired that wasn't a lie, but it was fed-up tired not need-to-sleep tired. I knew I wasn't going to get to sleep straight away. I lay on the bed with my eyes closed so I appeared to be asleep. I tried to make sense of everything and ended up running over everything that had happened:

_I'd been upset about Ron  
Draco kissed me  
He'd been rude in front of people  
He'd tried to keep me away  
He let me in  
He was involved with Voldemort  
He kissed me again  
He left without looking back._

Even thinking about it simply like that didn't simplify it in my mind. In short that was all that had happened but in long it was so much more. In that time I had one from thinking he was an arrogant, stuck up idiot to caring deeply for him. Now I just wanted to help him. He was scared and what he said had scared me.

_Dumbledore isn't a problem for Lord Voldemort. _What did Draco mean by that? If Dumbledore wasn't going to be a problem who would be a problem? Who could stop Voldemort? Only Harry I guessed. The thought scaring me even more. How was Dumbledore not going to be a problem? And why did Draco look even more scared when I said Dumbledore could help?

Then it clicked. So much for being smart, this took so long to click. Dumbledore was going to be killed. Death was the one thing Voldemort was an expert in, he'd find a way of getting even Dumbledore killed. But it was more than that. He was going to get Dumbledore killed from inside Hogwarts. Lord Voldemort had ordered Draco to killed Professor Dumbledore.

No wonder he had been so scared. No wonder he had wanted help but wanted me to stay away. It all made sense now and it made me feel sick. How could Draco cope with the knowledge that he had been ordered to kill someone and Dumbledore of all people?

I didn't get any sleep at all that night. I spent the whole night just lying there thinking. After my realisation I spent the rest of the night trying to think of something to do. All possibilities involved telling a teacher and I knew that wasn't an option. Except Snape. Snape obviously knew about it, Snape had even offered to take Draco's place. Professor Snape was a Death Eater? He wasn't the nicest of teachers but I didn't think he was _that _bad. My morning I still hadn't thought of anything that could be done. I didn't even know if I should tell Draco that I had worked it out or not.

* * *

**Sorry I've been so long. Please R&R and I'll try and update soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm so sorry it's been, like, over a month. I blame Paula545 for making 'The TARDIS' forum which distracted me, but before she made that it was my own fault. But it's mostly Paula's fault :P! ly really Paulala :P! Please R&R peoples**

**Chapter 10  
Draco**

'I know what you have to do' Hermione hissed in my ear as she passed me in the great hall. I looked at her and then back the my table. The expressions on the faces of people around me told me that they hadn't heard what she said, but wanted to know what the hell was going on. I shook my head but didn't say anything. The questioning looks continued but no one out rightly asked. Even if they had I wouldn't have answered. I was too tired for petty lies and there was no way I could tell the truth. I appeared to be focusing on my food, but really was just thinking.

It made sense I suppose. Hermione was a smart girl, the smartest girl I knew. Probably the smartest girl in the school. And I hadn't been exactly subtle in what I had said. Most people wouldn't have been able to work it out from what I had said, but Hermione wasn't most people. Hermione was better than most people. But if Hermione knew it would cause no end of problems. If it hadn't been for the fact that I didn't want to cause a scene I would've banged my hand on the table - hard - I was that frustrated. This was all getting ridiculous and I knew it was my own fault. Hermione would never have got involved if I hadn't kissed her. If I hadn't kissed her, she'd still be chasing after Ron Weasley and I'd been able to get on with my task without any of this hassle.

Except that wasn't true. Yes, it would've been a hell of a lot easier without Hermione trying to help me all the time, but it never would've been hassle-less. I had been asked to commit murder for pity's sake. You'd have to be completely heartless to be able to see that as a problem-less task. Completely heartless like Lord Voldemort himself, like most of his Death Eaters, like my father even. I wasn't completely heartless, and I didn't want to be. At the end of the day I just wanted to live my life and make my own decisions without being pulled onto one side or the other without a say. I didn't want to commit murder and yet I knew there was no way I would pull out of this. There was an honour in being asked to do this. A dark, wrong honour, but an honour all the same. There was a great number of people He could've asked, but he didn't he asked me. I had to do it. The decision was out of my hands after all, the decision had been made. Hermione had to understand that. Hermione had to understand that as much as I didn't want to, I had to kill Dumbledore and she couldn't stop it. There was nothing she could do to stop.

I knew she would try though. I knew she would pull out every trick that she knew, every idea she could think of to try and stop it. And she would be doing it for all the right reasons. The save Dumbledore, to help me, because she was a good person. She believed in the good in people, she was optimistic despite everything, she believed there was always loopholes. She wouldn't accept that there wasn't, there simply wasn't here. This was a power stronger than she'd dealt with before.

I stood up and left the Great Hall quickly, heading straight for the library. I searched through spell book after spell book trying to find a suitable spell. It seemed simple when I got the idea: find a spell that would erase Hermione's memory of my task, erase her memory of all my time around her this year and then it would be fine. Of course it would never be that simple. Erasing selective memories would be simple enough, there were spells and potions for that, but Hermione was too smart for that. She'd be aware that memories were missing, her friends would think it strange if she suddenly went back to chasing Ron and question her, which would then cause her to question me. It was a vicious circle, I could see anyway out of it. Everything solution ran into another problem. On and on and on with no stopping, no way out. And it was all my own stupid fault.

I knew I needed to speak to Hermione. This conversation would be make or break. It would either find some sort of solution or mess everything up completely. Either way I had to speak to her. I headed back to the Great Hall and caught her just as she was coming out.

'We need to talk'


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11  
Hermione POV:**

I knew Draco would insist on talking after I told him I knew. I hadn't thought it through before saying it but as he said 'we need to talk' I realised it had been the only way go about it. I needed him to come to me to talk rather than me approach him, this was the only way I could get his attention and him on his own. The only problem now was I didn't know what to say. I stayed silent as Draco led me somewhere more private.

'What do you know?' Draco asked, his voice quiet but insistent. He seemed paranoid, looking around every-so-often to make sure no one was around. His paranoia rubbed off on me and I looked around before answering.

'You've been ordered to kill Dumbledore' saying it aloud felt wrong. As if it made it more real. I knew that was because Draco's reaction would prove me right or wrong. I silently hoped to be proven wrong but Draco proved me right. His expression barely changed but he couldn't stop his eyes widening in shock.

He stared at me for a moment in silence. I was unsure whether I should say anything else so I waited for him to speak. Eventually he hissed 'How the hell do you know that?'

'I'm not stupid Draco' I replied. 'The things you told me, it's like you wanted me to work it out. "Dumbledore isn't a problem for Voldemort" it's obvious. He wants Dumbledore killed from the inside and that's you'

'You can't do anything, Hermione. You better be listening you can't do anything' Draco told me. 'I know you want to, you want to stop it, play the hero, save everyone but you can't. I _have _to do this. You can't get me out of it. I've been telling you this all along, but now you know you really have to listen. When the war comes, and it will come soon, you, Potter and Weasley may be able to fight against Voldemort but the chances are you'll get yourself killed in the process, but that's just who you are. I'm not. I'm on the other side, I _have _to do this.'

'No' I said.

Draco looked like he could screamed. 'Hermione! You're smart, I thought you'd understand how big this is.'

'I do. I know I can't get you out of it on my own'

'No. You can't tell anyone. You'll get my thrown in Azkaban and my family killed' Draco replied instantly.

'Dumbledore will be able to help' I insisted.

'How naïve can you get? Draco's voice had the effect of screaming despite the fact that he kept the same volume. 'I thought you'd get it, because you're friends with the amazing Harry Potter, I thought you'd realise how serious this is. You can't help me, Dumbledore can't help me, _no one _can help me. Voldemort's already got me and nothing can get me out of that'

'Does Snape know?' I asked. 'He took out the Unbreakable Vow, surely he must know? But Dumbledore trusts him, is he betraying Dumbledore?'

'Yes he knows. He seems to think I need help, he's willing to carry out the task instead of me' Draco replied. 'He doesn't understand that I have to do this. It has to be me. Now stay out of it'

'You can't seriously expect me to. Dumbledore is the one thing that makes everyone feel save at this school. Without him the school would fall apart, that was proven last year. If he was dead, no one would have anywhere safe. Dumbledore means too much to too many people for you to just be able to kill him. Now I'm going to save Dumbledore no matter what it takes and you can't stop me'

'Are you trying to get yourself killed?' asked Draco.

'I'm trying to save this school, whatever it takes' I replied and walked away.

HGDM

I headed straight to Professor McGonagall's office without really thinking about it. Or rather without thinking of anything else. I walked in without knocking and stopped at her desk.

'Miss Granger?' she said, somewhat shocked. 'Can I help you?'

'I need to see Professor Dumbledore' I replied. 'It's important'

'I'm afraid Professor Dumbledore isn't available right now' McGonagall said. 'Why do you need to see him'

I know it's stupid, but I found myself being wary of Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore trusted Snape and Snape was betraying him who else was? I shook that thought away, it was stupid. This was McGonagall, she would never betray Dumbledore. 'His life is in danger'

'Miss Granger I can assure you that Professor Dumbledore is perfectly safe' said McGonagall.

'At the moment maybe but he's going to be killed.' I insisted. 'Voldemort has ordered Draco Malfoy to kill Dumbledore…'

'Miss Granger…'

'You have to believe me. I'm telling you truth. Draco confirmed it' I continued. 'Something needs to be done. Snape's in on it too, he took out the Unbreakable Vow to help Draco.'

'Hermione' Professor McGonagall raised her raise slightly to get me to listen. 'There's nothing you can do, you need to stay out of this. There's so much you don't know'

'Everyone is telling me to stay out of it. Like everyone wants me to just sit by and let Dumbledore be killed. That can't happen, we need him'

'There's so much you don't know' McGonagall repeated. 'You may be used to major trouble, but this time you need to just leave it. Professor Dumbledore knows what he is doing, you need to trust us and just leave it. We've been dealing with this sort of thing a lot longer than you have'

'But what about Draco?' I asked. 'He doesn't want to do this, he's terrified, but he feels like it's the only option he's got. Someone needs to help him get out of this'

'Again, you're just going to have to trust us'

'But…' McGonagall raised her hand to stop me. I sighed. 'I can't believe everyone expects me to just sit by and do nothing. Can't I at least talk to Dumbledore?'

'You could, but he's not here at the moment'

'What?' I shrieked without meaning to. 'Dumbledore's left the castle?' I thought about it, of course, Harry had gone with him. I'd been so wrapped up in Draco and everything that I barely noticed that happening.

'Don't tell anyone that' McGonagall said. 'It's not to become common knowledge.'

I nodded in agreement. 'Fine. I'll leave it, for now.'

**A/N: Please R&R sorry this chapters not exactly great come the end, I wasn't sure how to end it xD. And sorry it's been so long since I updated, I keep doing that :\. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12  
Draco:**

I saw Hermione as she came out of McGonagall's office and prepared for the confrontation that had come every other time I'd seen her recently but it never came. She met my eyes for a brief moment without even stopping and then just continued to walk passed. Everything in me was saying 'leave her. Leave her' but I couldn't. I had to know. 'What happened?' I asked after taking a few quick steps to catch up with her.

She turned to look at me, appearing angry. 'You've got your wish. I'm to leave it along, stay out of it. Apparently I need to "trust them" because Dumbledore "knows what he's going"' without warning she slammed me against the nearest wall, with a strength I'd forgotten she had. 'You're a coward' she hissed 'I thought you were a good person, I thought you wanted to do the right thing' she started hitting me wildly. 'I thought… but no, you're just a coward. You've rather kill a well love, respected and needed man to save your own skin. You're nothing but coward'

As I responded I attempted to grab her wrists to stop her hitting me.' Try being in my position' I succeeded and kept hold of them. 'Try having the most powerful dark wizard ever giving you orders. Try having a family that expects you to go along with it. Try being me, Granger' I called her by her last name automatically in anger 'try being me and then say I'm a coward'

'I'd fight' Hermione responded, pulling away from me. If looks could kill hers would've stopped my heart, rather than just broke it. 'I'd fight even if it meant getting myself killed. I wouldn't just go along with it.

'You're a coward because you're scared so you're just accepting it for a quiet life. Do you think I've never been scared, Draco, do you think I've never wanted to just give in and take the easy option? Of course I have, a number of times, but I don't. I still do what's right. You talk about never have the choice. It's a load of rubbish. The decision was made by your parents maybe but _you _have the choice now. You could fight against it. You could do the right thing but it's _you _choosing not to.'

I was about to interrupt and tell her that it wasn't as easy as that. That she didn't know what it was like, she'd always been on the good side while I was on the dark side. She continued before I had so much as open my mouth.

'You were right; you said I'd hate you by the end of the year. You just got the timing a bit wrong. I hate you now. And if you go along with this I will never forgive you and I will personally tell whoever I need to tell whatever I need to, to get you thrown into Azkaban or worse. Just remember that'

Hermione seemed to seriously calm down once she stopped. It was as if she just needed to get everything she was thinking out and once it was out it was better. Her face softened out of the deadly glare, but she didn't say anything more. I opened my mouth to say something in reply hoping I'd know what to say as I said it but I didn't get a chance because she started to run off. Without thinking about it I ran after her. 'Hermione wait'

'What?' she said, it wasn't as forceful as when she had spoke before. She sounded tired, as if the previous rant had sucked the energy out of her. 'What do you want Draco? You've finally got what you said you wanted all along, I'll leave it alone. I'll sit by and watch this school fall to pieces.' She was struggling to stop her voice from breaking, and the tears were clear in her eyes.

I hated that I was doing this to her. I knew she hated me, I could accept that it was understandable. If I was her I'd hate me, but I couldn't accept that I was hurting her. I wished I could make her understand that I couldn't get out of this, I wanted to but this was the only option. She was right, I was a coward, but she didn't know what it was like. She couldn't.

Hermione continued 'I'll stay quiet while it's happening, knowing that the guy I think I'm falling in love with is playing a huge part in it. I'll sit by and let the soul get ripped out of this school and the heart of every student and teacher here get broken. But I meant what I said I will make sure everyone knows you did it.' I caught hold of one part of that more than the rest and it took my breath away. Hermione's voice suddenly went to just above a whisper and she sounded really unsure, as if she was afraid to say it. 'Was it all real, Draco? The past six years you've acted like you hate this school and hated Dumbledore, but the last few months I've wondered whether maybe that was just a cover and maybe the school acts as a sanctuary to you. But now I'm guessing I was wrong? Was I real all along? Do you hate this school that much?'

_Say yes. Say yes. _My mind screamed at me. If I said yes she'd turn away in disgust, she'd leave. She'd be heartbroken but she'd leave. I wouldn't have to cope with her going on at me. But I couldn't lie to her. 'Of course not' my voice was also barely above a whisper.

'This is actual murder, Draco, actually pointing a wand at someone and saying - with meaning - those two words. The Unforgivable Curse. This is actually stopping someone's heart. Have you even thought about that, this is taking someone's life. Death, Draco, this is real and for what? Daddy's approval'

'I know it's real' my voice was clipped, it was the only way I could stop myself from shouting in anger. 'Of course I've thought about it. All year long I have thought of little else. I should never have got you involved because I knew you'd be like this. I don't want this. I don't want any of what's happened this year. I don't want to be in love' She said it so there was no point in no admitting it. 'with someone like you, on the complete opposite side, determined to do the impossible. I don't want to have an order like this. I don't want the only person who I've let work it out be someone who could never understand it. It's so much more complicated that you allow for. I can't just choose to get out of this, I wish I could but I can't.

'You've always been on the right side, Hermione, you've _always _been fighting against him. You don't know what it's like when he's got you. You can't understand what it's like. Yeah, you're right, I'm a coward because I'm just going along with it. God knows I don't want to, but I _haven't got a choice_'

'When the time comes, Draco, and you hold the wand up, at Dumbledore's chest…' Hermione started, then changed it 'Well, more like his back, cowardice is more your thing isn't it? When you hold that wand up, it'll be you making the decision to hold it. It'll be your decision to say those two words. It'll be your decision. There's always a choice and you're _choosing _to make the wrong one. And I've done everything I can but I can't help you because you don't want to be helped'

Hermione walked away again and this time I didn't try and follow her.

* * *

**I didn't write this chapter, it wrote itself. It really did. I didn't plan anything past Hermione saying 'You've got your wish' the rest just sort of happened. Now I'm becoming aware that I'm losing reviewers because of the time I'm going between updating, but **_**please **_**stick with me. R&R, please, just so that I know you're still reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm a terrible person. I'm all "I won't be this long again" then practically do. I'm sorry. Reality keeps getting in the way. But here I am! You can thanks 'The Chibi's Are Stalking Me' for my return, she had a fic with an A/N saying about updating if you haven't for ages… so I did. Please R&R and I'll try my very best to update again before the end of the month (I have until Sunday xD). Ly'all, Carly.**

**Chapter 13:  
Hermione:**

I could hardly believe what I said, all of it was running through my mind. I wished I hadn't said some of it but at the same time I couldn't regret it because I meant every word. All of it was true and that didn't make sense. Somehow over this year I had been stupid enough to let myself fall in love with Draco Malfoy, the boy who had practically been my enemy for the past five years. I couldn't explain why because at the same time I hated him with everything I had. I never understood before when people said love and hate are really close, it didn't make sense because they're opposites. Now it makes sense, I guess you have to feel it to understand it.

I knew I had to stick by what I had said. I had to keep out of it. There was nothing more I could do. Draco knew I wanted to help, he knew I wanted to get him out of it, but it was impossible to help someone who refused to help themselves. The thought of Draco holding up a want and saying those two words made me feel physically sick. I couldn't understand how he could do it, how anyone could do it. I would rather die than kill someone, especially someone as kind and loved as Dumbledore. And I couldn't help but wonder if me sitting by and letting it happen would make me just as bad as him. I'd tried though, I'd tried to help Draco, I'd tried to warn the teacher, no one would let me do anything. I was out of options. Ron was too caught up in Lavender and I knew the Weasley's had enough problems without having more to worry about. I couldn't speak to Harry because I knew Dumbledore was relying on him and giving him a lot to do, and they weren't even in the Castle so I couldn't have spoke to him even if I wanted to. Which I wouldn't have because he didn't need anything else to be worrying about. Also Harry would probably attack Draco if he knew what I knew, which would get us nowhere. I was on my own and I had to stay out of it. I had to let it run it's course. McGonagall told me to trust them and I didn't see what other choice I had. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right but it was the only choice I had.

I sighed and wiped any trace of tears from my eyes. I walked to my lesson, on the way I promised myself that when this was over I would enjoy doing everything I could to bring Draco Malfoy down.

**Later**

"Go to your houses" Professor McGonagall shouted. "No dawdling. Go."

A storm was brewing both metaphorically and literally. In only a matter of seconds the sky darkened into a thunder storm. I tried to speak to McGonagall, I needed to know what was going on, I needed to know it this was it. The end. She wouldn't to me though, she just repeated that we needed to return to our houses. My heart was thumping so fast, in fear, that I thought it was going to come right out of my hest of simply just stop altogether. Reluctantly I listened to McGonagall and went to the Gryffindor common room. The feeling of dread was making me feel ill more and more by the second. I needed to know what was happening, although I was 99% sure I already did. I needed to do something.

Once I was in the common room there was wide spread panic. Everyone was trying to work out what was going on. Everyone was scared, but no one as much as me. Whatever they were thinking was going to happen, I could almost guarantee that they weren't thinking that by the end of the night their beloved headmaster was going to be killed by a fellow Hogwarts student. I walked straight through the common room to the dormitory, unable to cope with the noise. I desperately wanted to talk to someone, I wanted to feel safe, I wanted someone to hold me. But most of all I wanted this to have never started. Of course I knew I couldn't have any of that so I just needed to be alone.

I stood by the window of the dormitory, staring out of it. Thick clouds covered the sky, there was no light except the occasional flash of lightning. The lightning lit up he grounds showing the beauty and horror within. Highlighting that it was never going to be the same. I had never felt more alone.

**Draco:**

This was it. The thing the whole year had been leading up to. I tried to stop myself thinking, I knew I needed to focus on the task at hand and forget everything else. I couldn't though, my mind forced me to reminisce. I found myself wondering how different this year could've been if I hadn't had this over me all the time. Me and Hermione could've actually been together, though realistically we probably never would've even spoke let along anything else. I could've gone on about how much I hated this place, rather than spent most of the year wish I didn't have to leave it.

I shook my head in a vain attempt to clear it. Task was such a small meaningless word, it didn't begin to describe this. A task was something like doing your homework. This was cold-blooded murder. And there was no going back now.

I walked away from the vanishing cabinet once I knew the Death Eaters were through. I walked straight to where I knew Dumbledore would be, not daring to stop, barely daring to breath. My hand became sweaty with nerves and I gripped my wand tightly. As I arrived I heard Dumbledore whisper 'Trust me' and then retreating footsteps. Whoever it was - my bet was on Potter - obviously did trust Dumbledore. After all who didn't? Everyone believed Dumbledore could make everything better. But he couldn't, not this time, not for me.

I stepped into the room, into Dumbledore's view.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Feel free to hate me. I'm aware of how bad I am updating this. I started it when HP6 came into the cinema, I'm writing chapter 14 now HP7 is in I know that is bad! I'm sorry. This time it's NaNoWriMo and coursework's fault! But never mind I'm here now! And how freaking awesome is HP7p1! Can't wait for the DVD! This is the last chapter but there will be an epilogue. R&R please!**

**Chapter 14:  
Draco:**

'Good evening, Draco' Dumbledore said calmly. Too calmly, he wasn't stupid, he knew what was going on how could he be so calm about it? 'What brings you here on this fine spring's evening?' How could he make small talk? Was he trying to distract me, make me relax so I wouldn't do this? It wouldn't work. I wouldn't let it. No matter what anyone did nothing could stop this.

'Who else is here?' I asked, being careful to keep my voice strong and powerful. 'I heard you talking'

'I often talk aloud to myself. I find it extraordinarily useful' replied Dumbledore. His voice still as calm and reasonable as it was before. It put me on edge, but I was on edge anyway so it made little difference. Nothing could've made much difference to this. 'Have you been whispering to yourself, Draco?' he asked. What did he mean by that? I didn't reply. 'Draco… you are no assassin'

'How do you know what I am?' I countered. 'I've done things that would shock you.' Was there really any need for this? Did he really think that a few words would stop me? Surely he wasn't that stupid. What trick was he playing?

'Like cursing Katie Bell and hoping that in return she'd bear a cursed necklace to me?' Dumbledore asked, rhetorically. He knew the answer. He continued 'Replacing a bottle of mead with one laced with poison? Forgive me, Draco. I cannot help feeling these actions are so weak…'

Weak? What right did he have to say that? I was the one stood in front of him, wand in hand ready to kill. Two simple words was all I had to say and he's be dead.

'Your heart can't really have been in them' he finished.

'He trusts me. I was chosen' I pulled my sleeve up revealing the mark of the Death Eater on my arm. But even I knew that was a weak come back. I had just proven Dumbledore's comment.

Dumbledore's expression seemed to drop slightly. There was still a level of calm it in which made no sense in the situation but his seemed slightly disheartened. 'I shall make this easy for you then' He said, his voice remaining the same, still calm. There was no fear, no anxiety, nothing. He moved his arms away from him and I noticed the wand in his hand.

'Expelliarmus!' I spoke so quickly and the wand flew out of his hand. Dumbledore turned his head to watch the wand as it hit the ground.

'Very good. Very good' His voice was barely above a whisper now. How could any face death quietly? Had our positions been reversed I would have been screaming and shouting and fighting back. Why didn't he care?

The door a while away opened and though I should have been expected it I jumped slightly at the sound. I turned to look at the door behind me only to turn back to Dumbledore as he spoke.

'You're not alone' he commented. Talk about state the obvious. 'There are others. How?'

He seemed to genuinely not know, but he knew this castle inside out. Better than anyone. 'The vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement' I made my voice smug as if I was showing off, simply to keep my fear out of it. 'I've been mending it' A part of all this that even Hermione didn't know about.

'Let me guess, it has a sister. A twin' Dumbledore mused.

'In Borgin and Burkes. They form a passage' I replied. I had more than had enough of this conversation. I tightened my grip on the wand. We needed to stop talking, I needed to act. Now.

'Ingenious' Dumbledore replied. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic and patronising or genuinely thought it was clever. Either way it didn't matter. 'Draco… years ago I knew a boy who made all the wrong choice. Please let me help you'

He was begging now. In a roundabout way he was begging me not to kill him. But this was the one think no one would accept. I couldn't be helped. 'I don't want your help' I told him, my voice was bordering on desperation by this point. I attempted at taking deep breaths to keep the tears out of it. 'Don't you understand? I have to do this' it was the same thing I had been repeating to Hermione for the whole year. Dumbledore wouldn't accept it as she never would.

Her face came into my mind. Her voice in my head desperately telling me to walk away, there had to be some loophole, some way out of this. I didn't have to kill Dumbledore. Except I did. No matter what anyone said that wouldn't change.

'I have to kill you' I added. I'd lost all control by this point. I knew my voice gave away everything. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be a Death Eater. I didn't want to kill one of the most respected wizards in the world. I didn't want to kill anyone. But I had no choice. 'or he's gonna kill me'

Even Hermione didn't know that much. At least I had never told her that much. Shed had probably worked it out herself though. I hadn't said it aloud the same way it had never been said aloud to me. It was an unspoken threat. A screaming silence.

Dumbledore was set to speak but remained silent as Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters entered the room. I stayed facing Dumbledore, my wand still pointed at him, while Dumbledore turned to Bellatrix. His expression still calm.

'Well, look what we have here' Bellatrix started. She stepped behind me, whispering in my ear, though loud enough to be heard by all 'Well done, Draco'

I didn't look at her. I didn't move at all. Bellatrix sighed slightly and stepped beside me.

'Good evening, Bellatrix' Dumbledore said, pleasantly. As if this was some friendly meeting. 'I think introductions are in order, don't you?'

The other Death Eater stood either side of me, stepping close to Dumbledore.

'Love to, Albus, but I'm afraid we're all on a bit of a tight schedule' replied Bellatrix, the tone of voice the same as always. Excited at the prospect of blood and/or death. She turned to me 'Do it' she hissed.

Greyback, one of the other Death Eaters, spoke 'He doesn't have the stomach, just like his Father'

Any other time, any other situation I would've rounded on Greyback told him where to stick it but now I couldn't deny it. I kept my eyes fixed on Dumbledore, watching his every move, though there wasn't much to see. I didn't move at all, it was like I was petrified.

'Let me finish him in my own way' Greyback added.

'No!' Bellatrix all but screamed. 'The Dark Lord was clear. The boy has to do it'

These were the only people who understood why I had to do it. Except they were there more through choice than I was. Bellatrix and Greyback enjoyed it almost as much as I hated it.

'This is your moment' Bellatrix told me. Taking a couple of steps towards me she added 'Go on, Draco'

I darted my eyes from her and then back to Dumbledore. My grip on my wand was slipping as my hand was becoming sweating. I tried to tighten it; I tried to straighten the angle at which it was pointed. I tried to open my mouth. I tried to say the curse. But I couldn't

'NOW!' Bellatrix was screaming by this point.

I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. Hermione was right. Dumbledore was right. I was no killer. I was no assassin. I couldn't do this. I felt like I was frozen and yet shaking at the same time. I could barely keep my arm straight.

'No' Snape's voice came from behind me and instantly my arm drop and I swung around to face him.

'Severus' Dumbledore said. Desperate was not the right word for the tone, it was still too calm to be desperate. And yet for Dumbledore it sounded desperate. 'Please'

In one swift movement Snape raised his wand and said 'Avada Kedavra' like it was an everyday spell. Like it was easy, like it didn't matter.

I could only watch in pure horror as Dumbledore fell backwards. I stared into the space where Dumbledore had been stood, not knowing what to think, what to feel, what to do. Snape grabbed my shoulder and pushed me in the direction of the door. On my way out I looked back to see Bellatrix casting the sign of the Death Eaters in the sky other the castle.

Dumbledore was dead. Hogwarts was going to fall apart. And it was all because I was too much of a coward to try and stop it.

**The End**


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue:  
Hermione:**

The whole school was in shock. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were all joined together in fear, grieve and anger. Mixed emotions were running high and no one knew what they should do. And all I could think was _I should have stopped this. _I should have done something, _anything _to stop this and I didn't. I stopped and listened when someone told me to trust them, they were dealing with it. How was this dealing with it?

I looked over the barrier I was leaning against. Everything looked so calm and peaceful out there, it was slightly ironic. Harry put his arm around my shoulder; it was instantly comforting though nothing could change any of what was going on.

'Do you think Draco ever could've?' I asked, still looking out rather than at Harry.

'No, it was always Snape' he replied.

It came as less of a comfort than I thought it would. I was glad to know Draco couldn't kill Dumbledore, but it changed nothing. Dumbledore was still dead. The wizarding world was still being thrown into war and there was nothing that could stop that.

**Thank you for everyone who's read, reviewed, favourited, and/or subscribed to this fic! Thanks for sticking with me and not giving up despite my uselessness with it. Ly'all Carly.**


End file.
